


Light

by Vasser



Category: Banana Fish (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Conflicted Blanca, F/M, Happy Memories, I Don't Really Know How To Describe This, I was depressed and this just kinda happened, Multi, Peaceful Memories, Sad Ending, Sadness, depression fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-24
Updated: 2020-07-24
Packaged: 2021-03-04 22:35:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,102
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25493977
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vasser/pseuds/Vasser
Summary: Blanca reflects on the two special people in his life.
Relationships: Blanca (Banana Fish)/Natasha, Blanca/Ash Lynx, Blanca/Ash Lynx undertones, Blanca/Natasha Kalsavina
Comments: 6
Kudos: 15





	Light

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sorry for what you're about to read. I was kind of sad and this kind of wrote itself.
> 
> I hope you enjoy anyway!
> 
> ~ Love, Vasser x

"Never change, Natasha."

His wife looked at him with a raised eyebrow, hair swishing around her shoulders. She could easily be an angel from Heaven. That's what she was to him; salvation and love and all the beautiful things he had never known before. Hopefully she would always be those things to him. 

This was simply one moment of bliss in the complicated mess of their lives. Neither of them would ever be completely free of their pasts but they were as happy as they could ever be.

"Are you being sentimental, Sergei?"

A little, he supposed.

"You just make me so happy, dear," he confessed in a whisper, leaning in to her ear and cupping her cheek affectionately. Never in a million years had he suspected that his soldier's hands could be so gentle, but with this blonde beauty it was so easy.

For now he wanted to enjoy this moment and let her know how much he loved her. Even though he hoped it would never come to it, Sergei knew that they could lose each other on any day. It made what they had together so precious and fragile; a flower blooming in the harshest environment. 

With a faint smile she took his hand in her own. Natasha's hand was warm and smoother than his own, and he relished the feeling. 

"Look into your heart, Sergei. You'll see that I'm always there."

\----

The teenager was a curious one, stubborn as a mule and wise beyond his years. His jade eyes held a coldness that could only be achieved through years of suffering. Not even the severest case of sociopathy could match it. Yet he was willing to learn about everything people were willing to teach him.

The younger man approached him now, his training gun held tightly in the hand hanging at his side. Shaggy blonde hair framed his face, untrimmed and uncombed, making him look like the most beautiful kind of feral animal. If Blanca weren't careful this boy could kill him one day.

"... Is that book good?"

Ash's voice had only recently broken and Blanca was struggling to get used to it in all honesty. The new deepness gave his words a threatening quality that would send a chill down a normal person's spine. The former child soldier was certain that this tone was a defence mechanism for the lynx.

"That's for you to decide yourself," he responded in an even tone. He had no choice but to teach this mere child the skills of warfare and manipulation, but he could at least also provide him with concepts of choice and free will. While teaching him about the darkness, he could nurture the lynx's inner light. 

"What's it called?"

"Islands In The Stream. It depicts the solitude of humans." Ash's curiosity silently pleased him. If the boy was curious then he could feel and experience and grow. He could be what Golzine expected and more. He could grow into a good man.

"I take it back. Sounds boring," the teenager huffed as he started to walk off. Blanca placed himself at Ash'a side. This moment was peaceful, and the potential in this boy shone so brightly that Blanca couldn't help but have hope and feel at peace. If he was very lucky then leading this boy to the light could be his redemption.

For now, however, he was too young. Too brash and fragile. For now it was best to hold off until the young blonde had the understanding of the world necessary to make good choices and hold himself steady.

"Read it when you're a bit older. You'll appreciate it more."

He could have sworn he saw Ash smile.

\----

Two people he loved in two entirely different ways. Natasha was his love, his wife, his soulmate. Ash was the human embodiment of his hope and the closest thing to a son he ever had.

Now they were both dead and gone. 

He wasnt going to cry about it, Blanca didn't cry. It had been trained out of him in his youth. The true challenge was not going to be avoiding tears, it was going to be learning to live with himself after failing to protect the two people who mattered most.

Pain was a companion to him, loyal and constantly by his side. It had been ever since Natasha's death. He didn't realise its presence could become any stronger. The stony heart he had spent years building up had broken open, and even though he had seen himself as incapable of love he knew that that wasn't true now.

Even after all this time Blanca still loved his wife dearly, and Ash had earned a spot beside her. After everything he had done to try and protect Ash it had failed, just like with Natasha.

Was he doomed to lose those he loved?

Ash's grave was silent and deserted. After all, it was 2 am on a Sunday morning. The regular traffic and bustle of New York had been packed away and tucked into bed. He was glad for the solitude.

Solitude. Both his loved ones knew the meaning of the world in the end, far more deeply than Blanca could comprehend right now. He wouldn't know the feeling as intimately as Natasha and Ash until he too died alone with no one to say goodbye or care. 

"You grew well, Ash. Look after Natasha for me, alright?" 

His knees were covered in freshly fallen snow, and white was not a good colour on him. It was too clean and sterile for the feelings raging in his heart and the complications staining his life. It disgusted him.

"Natasha, teach Ash the joys he could never feel in his life."

His time for mourning was short, he knew he had to move along. He had caused too much of a ruckus in New York, he had to return to the Caribbean to avoid his many enemies. Blanca would continue on and find peace within himself, Natasha and Ash would want it no differently. 

What was the point in wasting away for them? They would never want that. So he would move on, adapt, and rebuild his defences. Overcoming this was necessary. There was still life running through his veins and for the sake of those two precious people he would not let it go to waste.

Having made his resolution he stood, sparing one last glance at the unextraordinary headstone. He would carry them, and he would think of them while he enjoyed the little he did have left. He would let them fill him with light.


End file.
